The Ten Commandments
Family Mausoleum with Floral Tribute
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| You shall have no other Gods before Me | After you |
| You shall not take My name in vain | Fauci said bleach wouldn't work either |
| You shall not make graven images | |
| Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy | Eighteen, usually |
| Honour your mother and father |
Family Mausoleum with Floral Tribute |
| You shall not murder | Not bad, apart from Covid obviously |
| You shall not commit adultery | I'm not an adult |
| You shall not steal | Quite hard this, isn't it? |
| You shall not bear false witness | I've never told a lie in my life |
| You shall not covet your neighbour's goods | I'll come back to that one later |
| ☣ trumpthat.monster | |
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| Imbued with Scottish
warmth and hospitality |
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| ☣ trumpthat.monster | |
Rudolf the brown-nosed lawyer Went everywhere that Donald went Eating orange carrots Even if they were bent All the other lawyers used to call him names They wouldn't let poor Rudy join their little games Ever since Four Seasons, Rudy's credit's spent. There are many reasons, like the hair dye incident Then there was his shirttail, What a tale that was When he tried to tuck it in fiddling with his balls Things have gone down badly Since his glory days He's been finding sadly Just what Donald pays He's on a downward spiral Under appeal of course Any appeal he has left Should hightail it on a horse. He could try out laundry The silly old galoot And have a go at pressing a different legal suit Now he's declared bankrupt He's burned through all his dough A common end for lawyers who join the Donald show He forgot what happened to Coh(e)ns Roy and M. Donald's main defenders From government mayhem Soon he's off to Georgia to Fulton County Court But at the nearby prison He might just hang his coat Whatever happens in Fulton There's little doubt for me Because of Trump's employment He'll go down in Infamy |
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Have you heard of E Jean Carroll? I caught her looking at ladies' apparel What a price - don't discuss it: when I fingered the silky gusset
Dad, what's going on in Vietnam? I hear we're spraying napalm The guys from school are really cool signing up for Uncle Sam Jesus Don, my feckless spawn You wouldn't last ten minutes Before too long the Viet Cong would have you Ho Chi Minnowed I need you here, you little tit Your siblings just don't listen. You're clueless too, but at least you do know when to stop your bitchin'. I know a podiatrist over in Queens He rents his office from me If I squeeze his jumping beans He'll find an anatomical anomaly Anyway you're not American Mom's a Scot and I'm a German It's not our fight and we Trumps fancy U.S. rules are just for pansies Gee thanks Dad, that's awfully good I do like this neighbourhood When my exemption's all arranged I'll show the girls my Agent Orange.
The Duke a l'Orange sat alone, fretting on his naugahyde throne As Duchess Mel dropped a large fruit of her own How unkind of his wife, to be out of his life When he needed her to work his bone He guzzled down his big mac and coke, Went off to have a gold-plated soak, Pink, orange and bare, with Yeti-like hair He gave the toadstool a tentative poke When nothing got harder, he remembered Nevada; a pro-am he was supposed to be in He called Trump Force One, the son of a gun And went off to polish his ardour He shot ninety-four round Lake Tahoe's shore Which did nothing to brighten his humours For a golfer of note, he played like a goat and didn't cheat once, despite rumours It was a sad dinner: he'd been a loser Not even drunk: he's not a boozer Then shimmering above his Coke, Blowing away the cigar smoke A storming young lalapalooza! Call me Donnie - Oh you're so bonnie! A porn star? I can't believe it. Maybe you could let me see it? I make films, don't you know, Have you seen my Apprentice show? We'll get you on, sometime soon Maybe April, let's do June You've got a friend? What's her name? How old is she? Dirty too? Oh, she's busy - that's a shame We could have played my favourite game Come right up and see my suite Would you like a bite to eat? I have a tasty mushroom treat. Nip in there and have a widdle I'll just have a tiny twiddle Don't leave germs on the seat Come and see my New York Knicks I like to wear them for the chicks I have my balls in little baskets, Gold-plated - need you ask it? Bergdorf Goodman made me two Maybe I could make you too? I didn't bring my usual virago, She's gone down to Mar-a-Lago So, come unleash your puppy spaniels, You lovely young Miss Stormy Daniels She rolled her eyes, watched more TV And thought of wonders yet to come They did not, and nor did she Just the great big orange bum A lady might have expectation of minor thrills and palpitation, Or possibly depravity at a favoured cavity Anyway on this occasion, what she got was beached cetacean He wobbled his wick, very quick, and said, "I've got to thank you. You're awfully like, you little tike, My darling girl Ivanka" Five years went by, then DJT first tried for the Presidency. That's the time when Stormy D. said "Holy Fuck, you're kidding me!" This old Baron went out laying when his wife went laying out Barron Should that old count lead the nation? He can't even manage penetration I'm going to speak to a magazine That'll surely get me seen. It should also bring emolument for climbing that old monument The interview was quickly planned but shortly after that got canned: A nasty sod in a parking lot, Then Michael Cohen cheque in hand The Duke was less frugal with Karen McDougall, but still it was small change for him But when he paid Cohen the cash he was owing That's when he turned into a crim. Because you see, for the Presidency You've got to account for expenditure But the Orange Duke, the big palooka Disguised the cash he presented her. If he'd only kept the trouser snake back in old Manhattan It's more than likely none of this would have ever come to happen It's gone to court: a brief report - On each count guilty: no recounts - He lied about his election accounts. The jury found Cohen more reliable Embarrassment most undeniable! The Republicans all came to watch showed their face, ticked the box then ran from the inexpiable. The old Duke shows no penitence But he hasn't yet had the senitence Will Judge Merchan set him free Or throw away the prison key? Who can know? There's surely much To add to this miscellany But one thing's true: he knows it too, He's now been done for felony. He must now win the next election To avoid a spot of penal detention If he got to be the President He surely couldn't be a resident Though scrubs would suit his complexion He's working hard for Christian votes Although they don't like wandering goats Get your bibles for sixty bucks He doesn't give two Donald Ducks He don't believe in batshit, folks Gold-plated boots are available too Should you like a tasteful shoe All these pairs of costly trainers Nicely priced for rich no-brainers eBay's got them on aisle two On eBay though, you wouldn't get The gorgeous gold Trump trinket A superhero keyring charm Captain Maga, with bonus smarm Sadly not for you, cheapskate. Well that's taken half the night and most of my eighty proof delight I'm off to do some proper work And leave the great big orange dork I really have to stop at last, this totally addictive blast. If you have enjoyed it too Don't thank me: vote Blue!